You’re everything
Author: alotlikesue
iTeach
Faced with different obstacles everyday is a part of life. I may not have the best paying job but one thing is for sure, I love what I do. Teaching is probably the most rewarding career. You never know how your day is going to go, everyday is a surprise. You can wake up having such a bay day, and little do you know they change it around. I am blessed to have the opportunity to experience this.
Because of you
Because of you I am strong,
Because of you I am weak.
Because of you I am brave,
Because of you I am afraid.
Because of you I am happy
Because of you I am sad.
Because of you I will keep fighting.
Thanks to you I have peace.
When is it the right time?
I remember this day like it was yesterday. On October 27,2013 my baby came into this world and lit up my life. I am beyond blessed to be his mother and to be able to experience this feeling. But now as we get closer to him turning 3, the big question on “when is the next one coming along?”. I am at an age that its difficult to answer that question. I am 23, turning 24 in August. I want my child to grow up with a brother/sister but at the same time I would like to wait until I have life situated before adding such big responsibility. So When is the right time? At this age I am expected to try and fail at least a couple of times before having it all figured out. But as a mom? I can’t allow myself to fail. Because when I fail, I fail them. Am I supposed to wait until I have it all figured out or am I expecting too much from myself at such an early age?
When is the right time?
Happiness is key
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| Christmas Show 2015 |
Opportunities come at us every now and then in our lives. Whether we take them or not.. Well that my friends, is a whole other story. Eventually the path we decide to take allows us to realize the opportunities were there the whole time, we just weren’t sure how to take control of it. You ask some and the advice is always if you don’t take risks you don’t know how far you can go. Is that true though? I for instance can not afford to take any risks. I am a young mother, recent graduate, working two jobs deciding where exactly am I suppose to go next. I want to pursue my dream, law school. But what if that is just that A DREAM. I’ve come to accept it nonetheless. I’ve learned to understand that for some even if it includes me, it is a just a dream. But that doesn’t mean I am a failure, or unhappy. I have learned to see success differently. I have learned in order to be happy I have to come into conclusions that my DREAM is just a DREAM. I have to pursue my dream through other methods. I need to find what makes me feel good everyday, regardless of the fact that I didn’t become an attorney. I realize this now working as a teacher. There’s nothing I love more than working with those kids everyday. But how can I go from an attorney to a teacher? The answer is simple. My dream is merely to be an attorney. My dream is to be able to help others, to inspire, and to make a change. It is not about the HOW I am doing this, it is about finding out that I can reach my ultimate goal through another extent. Whether teaching is enough or not is something I am fighting myself over now, because in this profession I have the chance to work with these beautiful kids, but it also gives me the chance to see the conditions they live in and how hard life is for some of them which leads me to want more. I want to do more, change more, inspire more, and affect more. I find myself at 23 years old feeling lost about my future, because it is so easy to dream. But when life and reality hit you, you need to be strong to stand up on your two feet and be able to say Happiness is all I need. As long as you find what ultimately makes you happy, the rest fits into place. Happiness is key.
DJ’s teeth extraction
Today was such a scary day for me. I’ve literally never ever felt so scared, upset, worried, drained and frustrated in my life. My precious two year old had 4 of his front teeth removed due to cavities caused from breastfeeding. NO I’m not saying breastfeeding isn’t good for a baby. NO I’m not making an excuse for the situation. As any mother would I wouldn’t think I was causing any harm to my child by breast feeding but turns out too much of anything is never a good thing. I myself was breastfed until I was 4 and this didn’t occur, his father has beautiful teeth and I’m 23 with one cavity, so is it or it isn’t hereditary ? Who knows. I’m simply writing this because what I went through today I wouldn’t wish on anybody. (If you are a breastfeeding mother and you feed your child during the night take the time to get a wet cloth and wipe the teeth of your baby.) Now Granted it’s his baby teeth, the adult ones will grow in due time. But by God’s grace I have a healthy beautiful boy and seeing him today in that hospital under general anesthesia with the IV and the hospital gown, etc literally Killed Me. I was upset I wasn’t strong enough to not break down, I was upset I couldn’t change the circumstances, I was upset and I felt like all of it was completely my fault. I will forever worry about what happens to him from today on. I teach first grade and children are beautiful but can be so cruel (I witness this first hand), so to think my baby is different for losing his teeth this early is a battle that I’m ready to fight with him. He’s so beautiful in and out, full of life and so smart. Some of you think this girl is crazy people are out there with actual sicknesses but this is to me is such a big deal because I know the psychological effects it can cause him thanks to our ingenious society. The anesthesia sucked and everything about this process sucks. I did what was best for him despite the situation and now I just want him to have a full recovery so we can get back to laughing and playing. He has a wonderful weekend coming up to put aside all this pain. I couldn’t thank his father enough for being there today for DJ and for me. He wiped every tear and continued to reassure me everything was going to be alright. I love you DJ with every piece of me.
(Written March 21,2016)
Hello all
It’s been such a long time I’ve dwelled on starting this blog. What am I going to say? Who even cares? I’m basically your average girl. I’m 23, a mother, a recent graduate, a teacher, and a hopefully really soon a law student. You will quickly see that my son is my life. I want to share all of my experiences with you all on this journey I’m on where I’m still trying to figure out who I am, where I belong and where I am going to go. I want this to be somewhere we can feel comfortable expressing our thoughts and emotions with no judgement. Thank you for visiting this blog ! Until next time 🙂
A lot like Sue 